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Two and a Half Men
📺 SERIES
|
2003 |
12 Seasons
|
Ended
⭐
7.4
/10
23 views
A hedonistic jingle writer’s free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
S1 E2
Big Flappy Bastards
2003-09-29
S1 E3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
2003-10-06
S1 E4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
2003-10-13
S1 E5
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
2003-10-20
S1 E6
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
2003-10-27
S1 E7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
2003-11-03
S1 E8
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
2003-11-10
S1 E9
Phase One, Complete
2003-11-17
S1 E10
Merry Thanksgiving
2003-11-24
S1 E11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
2003-12-15
S1 E12
Camel Filters and Pheromones
2004-01-05
S1 E13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
2004-01-12
S1 E14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
2004-02-02
S1 E15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
2004-02-09
S1 E16
That Was Saliva, Alan
2004-02-16
S1 E17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
2004-02-23
S1 E18
An Old Flame with a New Wick
2004-03-01
S1 E19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
2004-03-22
S1 E20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
2004-04-19
S1 E21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
2004-05-03
S1 E22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
2004-05-10
S1 E23
Just Like Buffalo
2004-05-17
S1 E24
Can You Feel My Finger?
2004-05-24
S2 E1
Back Off, Mary Poppins
2004-09-20
S2 E2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
2004-09-27
S2 E3
A Bag Full of Jawea
2004-10-04
S2 E4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
2004-10-11
S2 E5
Bad News from the Clinic?
2004-10-18
S2 E6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
2004-10-25
S2 E7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
2004-11-08
S2 E8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
2004-11-15
S2 E9
Yes, Monsignor
2004-11-22
S2 E10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
2004-11-29
S2 E11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
2004-12-13
S2 E12
A Lungful of Alan
2005-01-03
S2 E13
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
2005-01-17
S2 E14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
2005-01-31
S2 E15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
2005-02-07
S2 E16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
2005-02-14
S2 E17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
2005-02-21
S2 E18
It Was 'Mame', Mom
2005-03-07
S2 E19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
2005-03-21
S2 E20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
2005-04-18
S2 E21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
2005-05-02
S2 E22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
2005-05-09
S2 E23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
2005-05-16
S2 E24
Does This Smell Funny to You?
2005-05-23
S3 E1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
2005-09-19
S3 E2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
2005-09-26
S3 E3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
2005-10-03
S3 E4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
2005-10-10
S3 E5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
2005-10-17
S3 E6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
2005-10-24
S3 E7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
2005-11-07
S3 E8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
2005-11-14
S3 E9
Madame and Her Special Friend
2005-11-21
S3 E10
Something Salted and Twisted
2005-11-28
S3 E11
Santa's Village of the Damned
2005-12-19
S3 E12
That Special Tug
2006-01-09
S3 E13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
2006-01-23
S3 E14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
2006-02-06
S3 E15
My Tongue Is Meat
2006-02-27
S3 E16
Ergo, the Booty Call
2006-03-06
S3 E17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
2006-03-13
S3 E18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
2006-03-20
S3 E19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
2006-04-10
S3 E20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
2006-04-24
S3 E21
And the Plot Moistens
2006-05-01
S3 E22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
2006-05-08
S3 E23
Arguments for the Quickie
2006-05-15
S3 E24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
2006-05-22
S4 E1
Working for Caligula
2006-09-18
S4 E2
Who Is This Vod Kanockers?
2006-09-25
S4 E3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
2006-10-02
S4 E4
A Pot-Smokin' Monkey
2006-10-09
S4 E5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
2006-10-16
S4 E6
Apologies for the Frivolity
2006-10-23
S4 E7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
2006-11-06
S4 E8
Release the Dogs
2006-11-13
S4 E9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
2006-11-20
S4 E10
Kissing Abe Lincoln
2006-11-27
S4 E11
Walnuts and Demerol
2006-12-11
S4 E12
Castrating Sheep in Montana
2007-01-08
S4 E13
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
2007-01-22
S4 E14
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
2007-02-05
S4 E15
My Damn Stalker
2007-02-12
S4 E16
Young People Have Phlegm Too
2007-02-19
S4 E17
I Merely Slept with a Commie
2007-02-26
S4 E18
It Never Rains in Hooterville
2007-03-19
S4 E19
Smooth as a Ken Doll
2007-04-09
S4 E20
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
2007-04-16
S4 E21
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
2007-04-23
S4 E22
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
2007-04-30
S4 E23
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
2007-05-07
S4 E24
Prostitutes and Gelato
2007-05-14
S5 E1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
2007-09-24
S5 E2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
2007-10-01
S5 E3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
2007-10-08
S5 E4
City of Great Racks
2007-10-15
S5 E5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
2007-10-22
S5 E6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
2007-10-29
S5 E7
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
2007-11-05
S5 E8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
2007-11-12
S5 E9
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
2007-11-19
S5 E10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
2007-11-26
S5 E11
Meander to Your Dander
2008-03-17
S5 E12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
2008-03-24
S5 E13
The Soil Is Moist
2008-03-31
S5 E14
Winky-Dink Time
2008-04-14
S5 E15
Rough Night in Hump Junction
2008-04-21
S5 E16
Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty
2008-04-28
S5 E17
Fish in a Drawer
2008-05-05
S5 E18
If My Hole Could Talk
2008-05-12
S5 E19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
2008-05-19
S6 E1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
2008-09-22
S6 E2
Pie Hole, Herb
2008-09-29
S6 E3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
2008-10-06
S6 E4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
2008-10-13
S6 E5
A Jock Strap in Hell
2008-10-20
S6 E6
It's Always Nazi Week
2008-11-03
S6 E7
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
2008-11-10
S6 E8
Pinocchio's Mouth
2008-11-17
S6 E9
The Mooch at the Boo
2008-11-24
S6 E10
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
2008-12-08
S6 E11
The Devil's Lube
2008-12-15
S6 E12
Thank God for Scoliosis
2009-01-12
S6 E13
I Think You Offended Don
2009-01-19
S6 E14
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
2009-02-02
S6 E15
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
2009-02-09
S6 E16
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
2009-03-02
S6 E17
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
2009-03-09
S6 E18
My Son's Enormous Head
2009-03-16
S6 E19
The Two Finger Rule
2009-03-30
S6 E20
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
2009-04-13
S6 E21
Above Exalted Cyclops
2009-04-27
S6 E22
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
2009-05-04
S6 E23
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
2009-05-11
S6 E24
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
2009-05-18
S7 E1
818-JKLPUZO
2009-09-21
S7 E2
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
2009-09-28
S7 E3
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
2009-10-05
S7 E4
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
2009-10-12
S7 E5
For the Sake of the Child
2009-10-19
S7 E6
Give Me Your Thumb
2009-11-02
S7 E7
Untainted by Filth
2009-11-09
S7 E8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
2009-11-16
S7 E9
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
2009-11-23
S7 E10
That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
2009-12-07
S7 E11
Warning, It's Dirty
2009-12-14
S7 E12
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
2010-01-11
S7 E13
Yay, No Polyps!
2010-01-18
S7 E14
Crude and Uncalled For
2010-02-01
S7 E15
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
2010-02-08
S7 E16
Tinkle Like a Princess
2010-03-01
S7 E17
I Found Your Moustache
2010-03-08
S7 E18
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
2010-03-22
S7 E19
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
2010-04-12
S7 E20
I Called Him Magoo
2010-05-10
S7 E21
Gumby with a Pokey
2010-05-17
S7 E22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
2010-05-24
S8 E1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
2010-09-20
S8 E2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
2010-09-27
S8 E3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
2010-10-04
S8 E4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
2010-10-11
S8 E5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
2010-10-18
S8 E6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
2010-10-25
S8 E7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
2010-11-01
S8 E8
Springtime on a Stick
2010-11-08
S8 E9
A Good Time in Central Africa
2010-11-15
S8 E10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
2010-11-22
S8 E11
Dead from the Waist Down
2010-12-06
S8 E12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
2010-12-13
S8 E13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
2011-01-03
S8 E14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
2011-01-17
S8 E15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
2011-02-07
S8 E16
That Darn Priest
2011-02-14
S9 E1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
2011-09-19
S9 E2
People Who Love Peepholes
2011-09-26
S9 E3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
2011-10-03
S9 E4
Nine Magic Fingers
2011-10-10
S9 E5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
2011-10-17
S9 E6
The Squat and Hover
2011-10-24
S9 E7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
2011-10-31
S9 E8
Thank You for the Intercourse
2011-11-07
S9 E9
Frodo's Headshots
2011-11-14
S9 E10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
2011-11-21
S9 E11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
2011-12-05
S9 E12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
2011-12-12
S9 E13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
2012-01-02
S9 E14
A Possum on Chemo
2012-01-16
S9 E15
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
2012-02-06
S9 E16
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
2012-02-13
S9 E17
Not in My Mouth!
2012-02-20
S9 E18
The War Against Gingivitis
2012-02-27
S9 E19
Palmdale, Ech
2012-03-19
S9 E20
Grandma's Pie
2012-04-09
S9 E21
Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
2012-04-16
S9 E22
Why We Gave Up Women
2012-04-30
S9 E23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
2012-05-07
S9 E24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
2012-05-14
S10 E1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
2012-09-27
S10 E2
A Big Bag of Dog
2012-10-04
S10 E3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
2012-10-11
S10 E4
You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
2012-10-18
S10 E5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
2012-10-25
S10 E6
Ferrets, Attack!
2012-11-01
S10 E7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
2012-11-08
S10 E8
Something My Gynecologist Said
2012-11-15
S10 E9
I Scream When I Pee
2012-11-29
S10 E10
One Nut Johnson
2012-12-06
S10 E11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
2012-12-13
S10 E12
Welcome to Alancrest
2013-01-03
S10 E13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
2013-01-10
S10 E14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
2013-01-31
S10 E15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
2013-02-07
S10 E16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
2013-02-14
S10 E17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
2013-02-21
S10 E18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
2013-03-07
S10 E19
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
2013-03-14
S10 E20
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
2013-04-04
S10 E21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
2013-04-25
S10 E22
My Bodacious Vidalia
2013-05-02
S10 E23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
2013-05-09
S11 E1
Nangnangnangnang
2013-09-26
S11 E2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
2013-10-03
S11 E3
This Unblessed Biscuit
2013-10-10
S11 E4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
2013-10-17
S11 E5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
2013-10-24
S11 E6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
2013-11-07
S11 E7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
2013-11-14
S11 E8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
2013-11-21
S11 E9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
2013-12-05
S11 E10
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
2013-12-12
S11 E11
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
2014-01-02
S11 E12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
2014-01-09
S11 E13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
2014-01-30
S11 E14
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
2014-02-06
S11 E15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
2014-02-27
S11 E16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
2014-03-06
S11 E17
Welcome Home, Jake
2014-03-13
S11 E18
West Side Story
2014-04-03
S11 E19
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
2014-04-10
S11 E20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
2014-04-24
S11 E21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
2014-05-01
S11 E22
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
2014-05-08
S12 E1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
2014-10-30
S12 E2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
2014-11-06
S12 E3
Glamping in a Yurt
2014-11-13
S12 E4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
2014-11-20
S12 E5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
2014-11-27
S12 E6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
2014-12-04
S12 E7
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
2014-12-11
S12 E8
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
2014-12-18
S12 E9
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
2015-01-08
S12 E10
Here I Come, Pants!
2015-01-15
S12 E11
For Whom the Booty Calls
2015-01-22
S12 E12
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
2015-01-29
S12 E13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
2015-02-05
S12 E14
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
2015-02-12
S12 E15
Of Course He's Dead (1)
2015-02-19
S12 E16
Of Course He's Dead (2)
2015-02-19
Ashton Kutcher
Walden Schmidt
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